“Are we sure this is safe?” Alissa squeaked.
“Yep,” I gulped. I squeezed her hand tight, pretending it was to comfort her specifically.
“I wish Sir Madrigan was here.”
“It’s gonna be OK,” I said, voice a little firmer. “Lily said this part was scary for her, but no-one pays any attention big shops like this.”
“’Tis a true quest, if our hearts are afflicted so.” She scrunched her eyes shut against the blinding fluoro lights, and dragged me out of the food court, through the doorway, and towards the women's section of the mall Kmart.
I nodded with feigned nonchalance at the security guard, who was too bored to even glance at us. I was glad, because I was even more aware of how I looked than usual. But it was fine, surely. Even if I still looked like a guy built for rugby, Alissa was still wearing the dress she’d run away from her family castle in. And despite her gangliness, obviously she looked like a perfect girl. I just hoped that we could find something that didn't look pasted on when I wore it.
Alissa stopped at the first rack of sundresses, and started flicking through them. A shop assistant walked past and glanced at us, and I felt sweat drip down my back.
“Talk to me,” I whispered. “Tell me something.”
“What sort of thing?” She dragged her attention away from the rack.
“Uh. Tell me how you got that dress.”
“Oh, that. It was a mistake,” she said. “One of the drudges returned it from the laundry to my room by mistake. I think it belonged to one of my mother’s ladies-in-waiting.”
“Seems like a weird mistake, mixing up a lady-in-waiting's room for a…for yours.”
“Drudges aren’t very intelligent,” Alissa said. She held out a dark blue dress that came down to my knees and held it up against me. "What do you think?”
I tried to remember the pages on wardrobe colour theory Lily had sent me while I slept. I’d woken up to approximately 50 billion messages. “I reckon the blue looks good with my dark hair.” I shoved it in the shopping basket. “That doesn't sound like a very nice way to talk about servants,” I added.
“Oh, they're not people,” she said, grabbing the same dress in dusty pink (and three sizes smaller). “The court necromancer only raises skeletons that don't have any soul-stuff attached anymore. Then he uses the barest amount of anima so that they can walk & follow orders.”
“Wait, you’ve got skeletons as servants?”
“Only for things like laundry and cleaning. They can’t cook, apparently. Mother said they tried, and had to rush in new kitchen staff for my third birthday.”
“Can I help you two ladies?” said a voice.
I didn’t even register, for a minute, that someone was talking to us. Then with a jolt in my stomach—a warm feeling that was coming to feel more familiar—I felt a smile creep onto my face. I turned, and felt another jolt as I came face to face with a horse.
An actual whole-ass white horse, standing in the middle of the Kmart. No, not a horse: the giant silver horn was a bit of a giveaway. That and the cloven hooves. I blinked, gaping. For a moment, I could also see a tall blond guy with a goatee in a Kmart uniform, somehow overlaid with the unicorn. Like one of those optical illusions. Then it was just the unicorn.
Alissa went stock-still for a moment, eyes wide. Then she started a bow which she managed to transition to a curtsy. “Your Excellency.”
“No need to stand on ceremony, Princess,” the unicorn said.
“How did you...” I stammered. “Why did you...call me a lady?” I gestured at...all of me, I guess. I had no makeup, no women's clothes, I'd barely even shaved. I definitely wasn’t feeling much like a lady.
The unicorn flicked its head, pointing the horn in my direction. “I’m a unicorn, milady. We have a special affinity for maidens.” He turned back to Alissa. “Princess, I am Silvesse the Nightwind. I come bearing a message for you from home.”
Alissa clutched her hands together across her breastbone and nodded. Her evil sorceress of an aunt wasn’t the only reason she'd run away from home, I knew. She hadn’t told me all the details, just that it involved her father and an engagement.
The human version of the unicorn drew what looked like a pyramid of glass out of his pocket. I couldn’t figure out how it worked with the unicorn version, but he held it up at roughly horse-mouth height. It started to glow, and a holographic projection of a man in rich, royal robes and an elaborate crown.
“My child. I lament the disagreement that drove you hence, across the very boundaries of our realm. And a messenger from Konvenience Korner, brought tidings of what your aunt Uminora did, and I promise you that I’ve sent my best court wizards to keep her in hand.
“That said, Gnome King Nalvoog is insistent that we agree to our treaty soon, much sooner than the next full moon. He has a son he can offer up in marriage in place of his daughter, and the question of heirs can be sorted at a later date. I have purchased, at great expense, passage for you home through the Night Realm, with the Nightwind.
“Your mother misses you dearly. Please come home before the moon wanes past the quarter.”
The pyramid went dark. Silvesse kept holding it out; when Alissa didn’t immediately take it, he all but shoved it at her. Alissa wasn’t moving, so I grabbed it and dropped it in the shopping basket.
I took Alissa's hand gently. “Look, Mr Nightwind, can you give us a few minutes?”
“Of course, Lady Brooke of the Korner.” He bowed, his horn almost touching the cheap lino floor, and retreated out of sight behind a shelf of jeggings.
“Hey, Alissa.” I turned to face her. Grabbed her shoulder gently with my free hand. “Hey. Are you all right? What can I do?”
Alissa took a deep breath, like she’d been holding it in for too long. “You know,” she said shakily, eyes gazing into the distance, “I didn’t really think about what would happen. After I ran away, you know.” Another breath. “I know that a political marriage was what I’d been trained for, my whole life. But whenever I imagined my future wife, whoever she would be, I realised I just wanted to be like her.” Breath. “When the Gnome King brought Princess Taalnis to court. To introduce us. And the wedding was going to be in two weeks.” Short. Shallow. Breaths. “I just felt trapped, like I couldn’t breathe.”
“Hey. Take a minute. Deep breaths.” I rubbed my thumb on her shoulder, and I realised I was jealous of her. Not envious, but jealous. I suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of her being with some gnome princess, not when she could be with me. The sensible part of me thought this was very silly, given we’d known each other for less than twenty-four hours. I told it to fuck off.
I dropped the basket and hugged her tight. She hugged me back. Arms tight around me, teary face hard against my shoulder. “You don’t have to go," I said. "I don’t want you to go.”
“Are you two OK?” came a new voice. Without letting go of Alissa, I looked up. A middle-aged woman with a manager’s badge on her shoulder was coming down the aisle. Her brow was furrowed with concern. She had one hand out, like she was offering some vague comfort.
I racked my brain, trying to think how to possibly explain the whole thing. My manager at Konvenience Korner had never believed me. But the manager—Mārama, said her nametag—had a rainbow/trans pin on her shirt lapel. Someone safe, hopefully. Time to take a leap.
“She’s trans, and she ran away from home,” I said. The words came out like automatic fire. “She’s staying with me. But her dad sent a message. Someone here—" I nodded my head in the direction Nightwind had retreated "—I didn't catch his name, but he’s supposed to take her home.”
Alissa had stopped crying. She unfolded herself from me and looked Mārama straight in the eyes. “I won’t go home,” she said.
“Ok, dear, what’s your name?”
"Alissatelle. Brooke calls me Alissa.” She bumped her shoulder against mine.
Mārama raised an eyebrow at me.
“It’s all a bit new,” I said, apologising for my hulking, masculine appearance. “We’re figuring it all out together, I guess. But her family... I met her aunt, who is a total nightmare.” Forked tongue & flaming green eyes included. “And the guy—Sylv-something?”
“Sylvester?" Mārama looked around sharply. “He’s new, and he’s got an attitude problem. What did he do?”
“Nothing, he just...uh, played a video message from her dad. And he’s been told to drive her home, I guess.”
Alissa shook her head sharply. She was more upset than I’d seen her, including when an evil sorceress was hunting her.
“OK, Alissa, Brooke. There’s only so much I can do. But, first question: are you eighteen?”
“I just passed two-hundred and fifty moons,” Alissa whispered to me. “What’ than in years here?”
I did the math in my head. "She’s nearly twenty-one.”
“Well, then, legally, there’s nothing her dad or Sylvester can do,” Mārama said. “And if he tries to force you into his car, I’ll have a word or two to say about that! But come into my office, I can help you two look up some resources or something. If nothing else, I reckon we can get you some funding for better new wardrobes than the crap we sell here.”
We started up the aisle, vaguely in the direction of the checkouts. Before we could get very far, Sylvester reappeared. And I mean literally. One flash of sparkles and he was there. This time, his human form was the dominant one. Ghostly armour outlined his Kmart uniform. In one hand he was pointing a sword with the same pearlescent moonshine as his horn.
“With regret, I cannot allow that, ladies,” he said. He sounded almost apologetic. “I was contracted to bring King Faerdham's heir home, no matter what gender said heir was found in. And no department store manager is going to stop me.” He gestured behind himself with his free hand, as if drawing back a curtain, and there appeared a deep, night-black expanse, lit only by distant stars. The store’s lights dimmed, and the busy sound of shopping faded to a whisper.
“What kind of piss-take is this?” Mārama demanded.
I pushed in front of them both. I held out a hand protectively in front of Alissa. “She doesn’t want to go. End of.”
“Ah, Lady Purveyor,” Nightwind said sadly. “We are out of your jurisdiction. The Oak Queen's protection doesn’t extend beyond the Konvenience Korner, nor past the hours of the full moon. You have no power here.”
“I do, you bloody muppet,” Mārama said. "You’re fired!”
“Oh, am I some fairy, bound by host-rule?” he asked. He ripped the nametag from his shirt and flung it at us. As Margaret tried to bat it away, Nightwind lunged with the sword and sliced my shoulder. The pain stung like ice. I fell back. My whole right side felt like it was going numb. Shock? Or unicorn magic?
Nightwind seized Alissa by the arm, dragging her back to his portal to the Night-Realm. Mārama grabbed her other arm, and Alissa tried to hold on to her. Nightwind tugged. The two women fell to the ground. I watched through eyes that were glazing over.
“Stop!” Alissa screeched.
Even Nightwind paused. He raised an eyebrow in question. My blood dripped off his gleaming sword like water from an icicle.
“I’ll go quietly, without struggling, if you heal Brooke,” she said.
“Like hell you will!” Mārama said, struggling to her feet.
“No!” I protested. I'm not sure if anyone heard it. My heart was pounding and my chest was tight.
“I have your oath, Princess?”
“My word as heir of Faerdham," Alissa said firmly. She held out her hand.
“At last, reason!” He clasped her hand and they shook. Golden sparkles formed a brief halo around the handshake.
Alissa gently helped me to my feet. She had to support my wobbly legs. Margaret took my other side.
“Alissa, don't do this,” I said. “I’ll be fine. You can take me to the hospital.”
She shook her head. “He won’t stop, Brooke.” She glared at Nightwind, who was once again more unicorn than man. “My father won’t stop, so I have to make an end to this.” She propped me up in front of the unicorn. “Heal her.”
Nightwind harrumphed and waggled his head. He leaned forward on his forelegs and touched his horn delicately to my shoulder. The skin of the wound drew together like a zipper being closed. Blood was suddenly reaching my legs & my head. I felt better in a flash of lightning.
I looked Alissa dead in the eyes. She was all stony determination. I hugged her tight, for just a moment, and let her go. As she turned to face Nightwind, I caught a wink.
“Now, Princess, let us—”
“Witness this. I need three authorities.”
Nightwind frowned, a human expression on his horsey face. “What is this?”
“An envoy of my king, the ruler of this domain, and a signatory Accorded by the Oak Queen.”
Mārama looked at me. “What is she doing? I ask as if I have any fucking idea what is going on.”
“I renounce my Line,” Alissa said. Her words took on weight like boulders. More golden sparks flew, and her eyes glowed white. “By Hearth and Home, Blood and Stone: I reject my place as Heir of Faerdham.” There was a rush of wind, and suddenly everything was still.
Silence, for a moment. Then Nightwind began chuckling.
“Clever girl,” he said. “Well played. Your father will be furious. But he cannot blame me.” He whinnied, and reared on his hind legs. For a moment, he seemed large enough to graze the cavernous roof of the Kmart. “Best of luck to you both.” He turned and cantered through the portal into the Night-Realm, drawing it closed behind him with a flick of his tail.
Light and sound returned. A pair of shoppers pushing a pram made to turn into this aisle, saw us, and kept going.
Mārama hurried us into her office. “What,” she asked, “the flying fuck just happened there?”
It took a lot of explaining. Mārama had to ignore three intercom buzzes. In the end, I'm still not sure she believed us. But, along with a helpline she printed off, she handed us a five-hundred-dollar gift card, so I think it was fine. We bought some accessories & a couple of outfits each, and—to my surprise and delight—discovered that Nightwind’s healing had narrowed my shoulders. Not a lot, but enough that I could actually fit into some of the dresses without stretching them.
When we got back to my flat, Alissa started telling Sir Madrigan all about it. The rat got quite agitated, and I’m certain he wished he'd been there to defend his princess’s honour. Not that she was a princess anymore.
“We’ll need to plan,” I said, once Sir Madrigan went to brood on the windowsill. I sat down on the ancient couch, and felt all the exhaustion suddenly, as if it'd been held in reserve until now.
“What do you mean?” Alissa asked. She sat down beside me. Right beside me. Our shoulders and thighs rubbed together. I blushed ever so slightly, and she smiled.
“I mean everything,” I said. “What you're going to do. I know you meant to go back to...whatever you call your land, your world on the other side—”
“The Realm of Atrania,” she said.
“Atrania, right. But now you've got both your dad—a king! —and your aunt—an all-powerful sorceress—out to get you. Can you go back there safely? If you stay here, what happens to Sir Madrigan? You? We’ll need to get you ID, a bank account, fake a school record, there's so much—"
She put a finger to my lips. “Hush, milady Brooke.” I blushed again, not so slightly. “You are right about Sir Madrigan: he cannot forever remain here, even if I do. But Atrania is a vast realm, just like yours, and borders on many others. There shall be ways and means.” She pulled her legs up & sat cross-legged on the couch, facing me. “We must also plan for you. Lily says there is alchemy on this world to shape you—”
“Wait, when did you get in touch with Lily? How?”
“I could hardly sleep. And you were still, what did she call it, ‘signed in’ on your old phone. We are fast friends now!”
Somehow, that thought both frightened and delighted me.
“But we must get you to this alchemist, as swiftly as we can. And mayhaps myself, too, if it can be arranged. Lily said it would need a writ of identity.” In a flash, she had the old phone out, and suddenly Lily was there on video chat.
“Brookie!” she squealed. “Alissa was asking about IDs and stuff. I know a gal who knows a gal, we can get it done!” She paused, eyes flicking side to side. “O-o-kay, you two. What happened?”
“Would you believe her dad sent a unicorn bounty hunter to Kmart?” I said.
“I sooooo need the deets on that!” She sent a bunch of side-eye emojis in the chat. “But no, I mean what happened between you two?”
“What? Nothing!” I said. Too fast.
“Brooke, you’re bright red! Alissa, you too!”
We both looked at each other, reddened some more, and looked away. Anywhere but at Lily.
“Oh my gawd, girls!” She squealed into her giant shark plushie. “You two are crushing sooooo hard!”
I opened my mouth to protest, but the sensible part of my brain had decided to fuck off on its own this time. Alissa and I shared a look, and this time we didn't look away. Not even the sound of Lily ordering a plane ticket distracted us.